Entirely Erwin

Why Does Starbucks Have To Be So Damn Good?

Can someone please tell me what is it with Starbucks coffee that makes you want to come back for more? I don't think it's the taste of the coffee, because frankly I believe that Dunkin Donuts has way better coffee. Definitely not the price, for $4.50 I would rather have an MGD or Jack Daniels Hard Cola (yum). Maybe its the service they offer....

I've been to my share of "Harbucks" going out and about. I've even made the journey to see the Mecca of Starbucks in Seattle. No matter what Starbucks I go to however, I do notice one thing - how fake Starbucks employees are. Starbucks employees are the McDonald's workers of the mid to upper class. They're the starving college students; they're the housewives of men who have big egos but small wallets; they're the burnouts who've given up hope in trying to strive for something better (whatever better is). These people don't want to be there, yet they put on a happy face when "we" come in. They act cheery, but "we" all see through that but still cheerily go along with the act.

Last week, I went to Starbucks and had to wait in line for longer than usual to get my usual venti "x" frappucino 2x blended because the high 20's/low 30's "order here" guy (i.e. burnout A) couldn't figure how to handle an exchange on a defective coffee maker (I refuse to call it an expresso machine - oops, I did). When it was finally my turn, the guy that actually makes the caffeine enhanced beverage (burnout B) felt like he was obliged to make me feel better, so he started playing with the whip cream can as if he was a cowboy twirling around his gun back and forth between hands. He was really trying hard and I was outwardly amazed. On the inside, however, I was saddened how a grown man was reduced to being a clown in a Starbucks apron; I'm sure this really wasn't God had intended for my now burnt-out burnout coffee-making guy.

So now I think I know why I ("we") go to Starbucks. We go to make them feel special. We don't see them as coffee makers, we see them as baristas. We don't say ,"Gimme a large coffee, xtra sugar xtra cream (Dunkin Donuts lingo)", we say, "I would like a grande mocha latte with a couple shots of that tasty syrup stuff pleez." So for everytime you walk into one of them there Harbucks coffees, just remember that by going, you're doing your one good deed for the day.