WrestleMania 23 Weekend

Finally...I have come back to Detroit! The last time this pie-eatin, jabroni-beatin son of a gun was in the pimp capital of the world was almost four years ago for a concert which filled Ford Field almost to capacity. Now, I return to Ford Field for the biggest global phenomenon in all of sports entertainment – WrestleMania 23 – along with a record shattering 80,103 people in attendance. Here’s a breakdown of this weekend’s highlights:

Friday
I used to think that traveling was fun, but after spending almost two weeks out of every year for the last few years practically living in airports, going out of town has become downright stressful. Getting to Detroit was no different, having to get through a trains, plane and automobile relay race against time to check-in before registration closed at the hotel. After dropping my stuff off at my room, I decided to search Detroit for a late night dinner and ended up in their Greektown area. Saganaki looks cool, but eating a huge slab of flaming cheese all alone on a Friday night in Detroit of all cities can be very lonely.




Saturday
C.M. Punk’s in my autograph session! There were so many questions I wanted to ask:

How are the Cubbies going to do?
Where did you go to high school?
Since you’re straight-edge, can I get hardcore with Maria?

Too bad the chick in front of me became a woman (i.e. Total Bitch) and started berating Chicago’s Very Own over something that happened in the past to the point Torrie Wilson had to tag herself in to make the save. By the time the smoke cleared and I got to C.M., all I could say was “Uhhh, so can I have a straight-edge pose?”



Next up was a picture with Mrrrrrrrrrrrr...Ken-ne-daaaay (3 second pause)...Ken-ne-daaaaaaaaaay. One moment I’m walking towards him wishing Mr. Money in the Bank well in his match. The next moment from out of nowhere, I’m being body searched by Triple B (Big, Bald and Black) Security because he thinks I’m carrying a weapon. What’s up with that? Hey, at least it gave Kennedy a laugh.

Getting autographs made me hungry so it was time to get on the People Mover and search Detroit for food again. Detroit’s known for its Coney Island hot dogs (hot dog topped with chili, mustard and onions), so I walked from Ford Field over to Lafayette Coney for a couple. Coney dogs are good, but I’ll take a Chicago dog from Jimmy’s on Grand and Pulaski or Gene & Jude’s on Grand and River Road any day.

In the day and a half that I’ve been walking around, I’ve seen or met a bunch of people from the U.K., some Aussie chicks, an Irishmen dressed as Ric Flair, a bunch of Japanese tourists that I thought were related to Funaki and quite a few Canadians. All these people came from around the globe, yet I haven’t seen or met a single person from Detroit. What a shithole.

Sunday
There’s no better way to start off your day than having a nice big breakfast watching highlights of past WrestleManias. Mick Foley made an appearance at the Bacon, Bagels and Biceps Brunch which was pretty cool and even cooler was that he was presenting awards to special Make-a-Wish kids. In keeping with last year’s awkward moment, I was able to make my presence known among a bunch of these kids:

Foley: So what match are you looking forward to?
Make-a-Wish kid: Undertaker vs. Batista
Foley: And who do you want to win?
Wish kid: Batista!
Me: If Batista wins, we riot!
Rest of the crowd: Batista sucks! Batista sucks!

I don’t think Foley was happy with me turning the crowd against the Wish kid because he gave me the evil eye and had us pretend to root for the Ultimate Warrior of the new millennium to make the kid happy.

After the brunch it was onto Ford Field. WrestleMania was more than 6 hours away, but being one of the first people at the gate was a pretty big deal to me. The brief moment that exists when you’re all alone in an empty stadium with nothing but the ring, the stage and thousands of empty seats in between is an experience that very few ever get. Over 80,000 people from all 50 states and 23 countries from around the world, and I’m #1 at the gates…now that’s cool...at least to me.





If you’re a true wrestling fan, there is no event bigger than WrestleMania, and being part of it was just as special as last year in Chicago and also my first time in Seattle. Getting to my seat and watching people sitting at ringside scream in sheer joy and excitement over their great seats brought me back to last year when I did the exact same thing with my WrestleMania brothers and practically lost my voice before the show. And looking at the sea of humanity that filled a football stadium reminded me of how I did the same thing at Safeco Field, amazed at how a single wrestling event could fill a baseball stadium. This year’s WrestleMania theme – All Grown Up – pretty much summed up why this WrestleMania was going to be special to me. Being in the city and the place that started it all, I’ve truly come full circle.

Now for some WrestleMania observations:

- Note to self: There is no better seat at WrestleMania than ringside. Even hobbits can be as tall as the Great Khali when they stand on chairs.

- After downloading and watching WM23, Jeff Hardy’s leg drop off the ladder looked way cooler live than on TV.

- It is impossible to have one synchronized chant going when there are 80,103 people in attendance.

- There were almost four times as many people at WM23 than WM22, yet WM22 was four times louder than WM23. There is no crowd that gets as hot as a Chicago crowd. Even Good Ole J.R. thinks Chicago pwns the world.

- Football stadium + dead crowd + outdoor event = WrestleMania 24 will be a disaster.