Happy Hallmark Holiday!

Lyrics from You and Me by Lifehouse:

What day is it
And in what month
This clock never seemed so alive
I can't keep up and I can't back down
I've been losing so much time

Cause it's you and me and all of the people
With nothing to do, nothing to lose
And it's you and me and all of the people and
I don't know why I can't keep my eyes off of you

All of the things that I want to say
Just aren't coming out right
I'm tripping on words, you got my head spinning
I don't know where to go from here

Cause it's you and me and all of the people
With nothing to do, nothing to prove
And it's you and me and all of the people and
I don't know why I can't keep my eyes off you

Something about you now
I can't quite figure out
Everything she does is beautiful
Everything she does is right

Cause it's you and me and all of the people
With nothing to do, nothing to lose
And it's you and me and all of the people and
I don't know why I can't keep my eyes off of

You and me and all of the people
With nothing to do, nothing to prove and
It's you and me and all of the people and
I don't know why I can't keep my eyes off of you

What day is it
And in what month
This clock never seemed so alive

Happy Valentine's Day...

-Do not send flowers to anywhere in Washington state. After two years of sending flowers (or at least attempting to) on Valentine's Day, the only one who gets surprised always seems to be me:

Me: So...did you get anything today?
The Chosen One: Nope.
Me: What! Nothing in the mail or on front of the door???
TCO: Nope.
Me: (in my head) Awwwww, (madlib), son of a (madlib), piece of (madlib), not again
Me: (out loud) Ummm, ok. I'll talk to you later.
Me: (in my head) Heads are going to roll...

I digress...I think TV should replace the "bleep" sound with the voice of the guy that you always seem to hear in movie trailers saying "madlib". With bleeps you know it's gonna be some fucking ass shitty bitch swear word. By saying, "madlib" it makes for more interactive TV.

-Before I go any further, Valentine's Day is indeed a Jewish Hallmark holiday. It's just another way to line the pockets of those money grubbing Hallmark bastards. The only reason why I recognize Valentine's Day is, well, I believe in the Holocaust. Wait...before I get e-mails from durkah durkah organizations to join their terrorist cells, let me clarify...I believe that the Holocaust did happen. However, I do not believe that all those people should have been killed. Just some.

-When I was looking for a card, there was this guy also looking for a card. While I was looking carefully and reading what each said for the perfect one, this guy looked at a few card covers, made a seemingly hasty choice and walked off to the register. I do not have a wedding band around my finger; he did. Is there a rule out there in the guys' handbook that states that if a presumably married man is in the act of purchasing a Valentine's Day card that was selected in the section where the card recipient is a man (specifically, "Love: For My Husband"), that another man should warn him to at least take a look at the card to make sure that it's appropriate? Heh, in this day and age, you never know...

-What's worse than spending Valentine's Day alone? Spending it with your parents. In a casino. And listening to them talk about slot machines like they're people. (Example: "The slot machines don't give you anything until 9 PM because there aren't enough people who give them money before then")...Thanks for the enlightenment, I get it now. You give the slot machine enough money, and at night it gives you something back. And I take it that when it gives you something back, you're very excited and happy. Wait a minute...are we talking about slots? Because this sounds more like we're talking about sluts.

-About the card I picked out...I guess Hallmark did some card analysis and there's one card in particular that was picked out the most in different cities around the country. It was the same card I picked out! After spending a good 30 minutes looking at cards, it was like they knew what I was gonna pick all along. It's kinda like that number game where you pick a number and then you add a number to it and then multiply it by some factor, then subtract a number, how everyone ends up with the same number. David Copperfield's Jewish, maybe it's like magic.