Entirely Erwin

Gay or Not Gay?




So I've got this friend (who we shall refer to as Edmond "Nedmond") whose been on a dry spell with the ladies as of late. It's a Saturday night and we're heading to a pool hall to do whatever people at a pool hall do, when the following conversation arises in the car:

Edmo-, whoops, I mean Nedmond: So how was lunch with Jennifer?
Me: Lunch was good. You're name actually came up in conversation.
Ed-, oops again, Nedmond: How so?
Me: Well, we were thinking of our single friends and how to make them not single.
Edmon-, arg...Nedmond: Oh no! You're trying to set me up!
Me: Not necessarily
E- Nedmond (I'm getting better at not disclosing identities, see?): So tell me more about the conversation.
Me: I can't. You can ask Jennifer.

At this point there's silence in the car. I'm driving to a cashy station thinking about how much money to take out, where the pool hall is, what time it is and how mangoes, bananas and strawberries don't go too well in a smoothie when my thought process is suddenly halted by a shocking but obvious revelation:

Nedmond - awww, fuck it - Edmond: I'M NOT GAY!!!!

My mind was going crazy to process this one little statement. A straight man proclaiming his straightness - that actually sounds kinda gay to me. What appears to be an insecurity of some sort seems to open up the possibility that perhaps he is gay...

Which is OK because with the Flaming Fucker now in Tennessee, I am now faced with a shortage of gay friends