Entirely Erwin

Leave It To the Pros

Living in a big city like Chicago, it's hard not to have a cynical outlook on life. Even though I know a long day of work is ahead of me, I wake up with a cheery attitude. But then as I'm getting ready for work I turn on the news (because I'm too cheap to spend $0.35 on a newspaper) to give me conversation starters for the day and what's the first thing I see? 2 Indiana kids found in plastic bags in some freak's basement buried under cement. To my horror though, that wasn't the worst piece of Tuesday morning news...

Monday was a slow sports day (everyday's been a slow sports day ever since the Bulls won their last championship moons ago) so the news decided to do a small piece on an event sponsored by the Chicago Cubs letting a bunch of people become general managers for the Major League's baseball teams. Sounds cool right? A chance for the typical armchair quarterback, err, manager to show off his or her decision-making skills to create a winning baseball team.

Uhhh, riiiight. The guy doing the news piece interviewed a bunch of people if their strategies involved acquiring specific players. The people he interviewed didn't know who these players were. So these armchair know-it-alls didn't know who these players were, that's OK (not really, the players mentioned were big-names). What wasn't OK was that the people interviewed were lispy and seemed totally flaming. OMG - a sports version of Queer Eye for the Straight Guy. I may be armchairing the armchairs, but these guys didn't have a clue nor did they really have any care of managing their teams. They were more interested in the players (and possible players) of their team in a non-sports "hey i wanna get to know you, let's take a shower together" sort of way.

And all my cynical self could mumble was, "Figures, baseball was a gay sport anyways. Time to get to work"

And on that note, the

Daily Cynical Song of the Day: Fuck Y'all - DMX