Entirely Erwin

Taken from Reuters:

Rabbi Offers Prayer for Web Porn Browsers

JERUSALEM (Reuters) - An Israeli rabbi has composed a prayer to help devout Jews overcome guilt after visiting porn web sites while browsing the Internet.

"Please God, help me cleanse the computer of viruses and evil photographs which disturb and ruin my work..., so that I shall be able to cleanse myself (of sin)," reads the benediction by Shlomo Eliahu, chief rabbi in the northern town of Safed.

Eliahu, quoted by Israel's largest daily newspaper Yedioth Ahronoth, said he had responded to a deluge of queries from Orthodox Jews worried that the lure of Internet sex sites was putting family relationships at risk.

The rabbi recommends that Jews recite the prayer when they log on to the Internet or even program it to flash up on their computer screens so they are spiritually covered whether they enter a porn site intentionally or by mistake.

Now for a few random thoughts:

I know it's still a few months away, but for shits n' giggles on April Fools' Day, wouldn't it be funny to change a fellow co-worker's screen saver so that the line, "Please God, help me cleanse the computer of viruses and evil photographs which disturb and ruin my work so that I shall be able to cleanse myself of sin" scrolls continuously across his or her workstation?

What a fucked up world we live in. God does not play a role regarding senseless violence among human beings. What makes you think God will play a divine role before, during and after senseless acts of violence committed against animals (i.e. monkey spanking, chicken choking, lizard milking, etc.)?

"Please God, help me cleanse the computer of viruses and evil photographs..." This rabbi guy must think that there's going to be an "e-flood" that will rid pornographic images off all computers by some cataclysmic mass crashing of hard drives. Hey buddy, take a number because let me tell ya, that is sooooooooo *sarcastic* original. I've been asking God for quite some time (since the ending of Fight Club to be exact) to destroy credit institutions and financial bureaus so I am debt-free and have a sparkling credit report again. My prayer hasn't been heard yet, so I highly doubt your minute request will be answered anytime soon.