Entirely Erwin

A Disgruntled Reader

Disclaimer: Please note that the views expressed by this editiorial do not reflect in no way, shape or form the views and ideas of the Brain Droppings author....

Dear Erwin:

Hey there asshole. You sanctimonious tyrannical son of a b*tch. For years now, I've been there right with you; I've been there during the highest of your highs. And when you've gone to hell, I've also (sometimes unwillingly) come along for the ride.

What the hell is your f*ckin' problem??? I can handle Mr. Miller G. Draft. Lately though, I feel like your bitch being pimped off to screaming Nazis and some Polish guy whose first name I didn't get; his last name is Zywiec (like you really care). Oh and Charles Shaw...he loves me like I'm some Asian prostitute. One night, I guzzled him down three friggin times. But last night, you drew the line, man. Those Irish go down hard; let's see how you like the burning sensation as Jameson goes down your throat.

I'm writing to let you know I'm through with you. We are over. And do you know what? You're going to be hurting more than me because you need me more than I need you. Remember your birthday a few years ago? Remember being passed out and being carried out of the restaraunt's washroom and then carried into Carl's home? Was I supposed to work that night? I thought that since it was your birthday, you were giving me the holiday off. Oops, my bad....

Let me tell ya, you're in trouble, dude. Take my threat seriously. You've known Homer Simpson for how long? Don't you
remember when you first met him he was able to communicate in complete sentences? Nowadays the most complete thought he can come up with is, "Mmmmmmm, (insert noun here)." Pity, all those brain cells mysteriously gone. Gee I wonder how...

Have a nice day, ass clown.

Sincerely,
Your Liver