Entirely Erwin

(This is the first of a two-part saga known as my Friday Night)

My Friday Night Part I: Conspiracy Theory

For those wondering, this is what I look like when I'm der..deruh...drunk (Bare with me as I'm still learning that word. It's still pretty new to me since I'm not that word often...in a week):



Yah. that's me on Friday night holding a couple bottles of whiskey. In case you were wondering in amazement how I could still be standing and somewhat conscious after two whiskey bottles, no, I didn't guzzle down both bottles in the same night. And no, I didn't guzzle down each bottle by myself. A great majority of the liver homicide was me though. But I have a reason...You didn't know this, but I do freelance work for a newspaper magazine periodical thingy doing weekly reviews of irish whiskey. It all makes sense now right? I mean really, who would be more qualified to review Irish whiskey than a 24-year old Filipino who until last week has never had a single drop of the stuff that burns us *gollum*?

For some schizo reason, I don't think you believe me...Alright, time to fess up. I've been stricken with WOB (Wrath of Becky). Symptoms of WOB include severe paranoia and the need to say "Squee!" Short-term memory loss also occurs as I seem to have forgotten how or why I incurred Becky's wrath in the first place (this forgetfulness could also be attributed to Loyola Dimentia because Loyola sucks).

With Stacey acting as a median host, I was able to finally meet Human Becky (I've met Cyber Becky before, but at times questioned whether Human Becky really existed or if Stacey had the first ever case of cyber dissociative identity disorder). Apparently, however, those who come in contact with Human Becky face the consequence of having their short-term memory altered. This is why she conveniently provided the whiskey; unbeknownst to me, there are agents in the whiskey that cause you to act really stupid when drinking in large quantities *gasps*.

Along with the drinks, we had a fun night ordering take-out and watching a few episodes of Buffy the Vampire Slayer. And then it hit me (not the alcohol, that's later): Becky's Wrath? Sushi? Buffy? OK Go? There seems to be a hidden agenda behind all this: Subjecting people to these things, Stacey and Becky are looking to take over the world. Ironically, the second I thought this, Stacey, sensing that I discovered their *evil* plans, abruptly ended the night, claiming that she might have had more of the *evil* poison that was in actuality probably meant for me...

Meeting Becky and hanging out with her and Stacey was good times overall. So ends the "good times" portion of my Friday night. Tomorrow - the "bad times" (stay tuned, the alcohol finally hits).